“Something’s gotta give. I don’t know how much more I can take. I’m at my breaking pount… AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”
When I saw this status update from a dear friend today, my heart ached. Not only because I care about her, but because that could have easily been me a mere six months ago. I feel ya sister!
Not very long ago, I was at my breaking point. Friends were worried about me. Family was worried about me. My boss was worried about me. I was an empty shell, floating back and forth between work and home, the hours, days, weeks and months passing me by. I was physically, spiritually and emotionally exhausted. Something had to give. And not just something minor (those things had already been given up). Something major.
I was faced with three choices. With the flames roaring and threatening my soul, I had to turn off the burner to one of the three biggest irons in my fire. Work. Marriage. Children. Although the choice was difficult because I loved all three, it was obvious.
My marriage wasn’t going anywhere, and neither were my children. I tried to slowly let go of my career by choosing to step down from my director position. But turning the heat from “high” to “medium high” doesn’t do much for you if the pot’s boiling over.
So, I turned it off. Let it cool down, and removed it from the range. And contrary to what I expected, the world didn’t end. Life went on. Things weren’t the same, but that’s ok. And you know what? Guess what I was able to move to the front burners? My marriage and children. Right where they should have been. And the back burners have been opened up for some new opportunities, ones that will bring in a little income, but won’t be all-consuming.
Sometimes, I miss my coworkers, my fast-paced career and the sense of fulfillment. At times, when I’m going through the motions of mundane domestic tasks, I even miss the heat, the pressure of keeping so many irons in that fire. But looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing. I am exactly where I’m supposed to be.
So, if something’s gotta give, let it. It may not be as major as what I relinquished, but even a minor change might make a big difference. When your hands are full, how can God bless you with anything new?