Postive, Encouraging, ME

So, I listen to K-LOVE on my way to work every morning (Christian music station). Honestly, I used to dislike K-LOVE very much. I was annoyed at the upbeat personalities, the “Kumbaya” music and even the tag-line: “Positive, Encouraging, K-LOVE.”

Blech! What’s up with that? Haven’t these people ever experienced real hurt, real troubles? Don’t they know that you can’t hide your head in the sand and go all “Ned Flanders” when this world that we live in is going straight to the big fire down yonder?

But something kept drawing me back. Something made me flip back to the station, and soon enough, I was singing along to Smitty, Matt Maher and Natalie Grant. They got me! They ensnared me with their sticky-sweet tentacles and promises of hope, peace and living a life that was…well…positive.

So, I’ve gone to the light side. I began to realize that I had a choice. I could choose to continue wallowing in self-pity, or I could step into the sunshine. Let me tell you, sunshine feels good. It doesn’t mean you forget where you came from, or deny the hurt that’s happening all around you. It just means letting go of the black venom you’ve been injecting into your heart. Put down the needle and take His hand.

Some of you may have stopped reading there. The capital “H.” Ah crap, she’s going to get all “religious” on me. Well, my friend, it’s not the worst thing that could happen to you. And let me tell you, I’m not a “drink the Kool-aid” type of person. I spent my first 16 years steeped in religion, delving deeper and deeper into my faith, only to have my whole world ripped out from under me. I was left stranded. My family, although still very loving, was ripped apart, and my relationship with God, I felt, was completely severed.

I realize now it was not Him who cut the cord, but my own confusion, grief, and belief that religion involved a “middle man.” If not for His persistence and my angel sister, I may still be sinking down in the mud. But now, I’m walking on the sunny side. Sure, there may be showers from time to time, but even then, I appreciate the rainbows. I honestly do.

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3 thoughts on “Postive, Encouraging, ME

  1. You are an inspiration to all, Catherine! Praise God for turning the way you look at life around. God is definitely present on this earth. We just have to seek him out sometimes. May the blessings of the Easter season surround you and your loved ones. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I enjoy reading them very much.

  2. Reblogged this on Cat Poland and commented:

    It’s hard to believe it’s been two years since I gave this testimonial, originally written in May of 2010. (I didn’t really know that’s what I was doing until my sister made the suggestion.) Especially during this special week, I wanted to share these thoughts again, as a reminder of why I’m on this path.

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